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Infatuation, Love, Lust !!
  
While there's no clear, fool-proof way to decipher your feelings for someone, there are certain ways to make the distinction between love, lust and infatuation clearer for yourself.
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The Rules For Men: Sep 16, 2008 9:56 pm
153 Views
1. The female always makes the rules.

2. The rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.

3. No male can possibly know all the rules.

4. If the female suspects the male knows all the rules, she must immediately change some or all of the rules.

5. The female is never wrong.

6. If the female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the male did or said wrong.

7. If Rule 6 applies, the male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.

8. The female can change her mind at any given point in time.

9. The male must never change his mind without express written consent from the female.

10. The female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.

11. The male must remain calm at all times, unless the female wants him to be angry or upset.

12. The female must under no circumstances let the male know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.
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Choosing A Wife!! Just for Laugh!! Aug 24, 2008 2:10 am
193 Views
There is a man who has three girlfriends, but he does not know which one to marry. So he decides to give each one $5000 and see how
each of them spends it.

The first one goes out and gets a total makeover with the money.
She gets new clothes, a new hairdo, manicure, pedicure, the works, and tells the man, "I spent the money so I could look pretty for you, because I love you so much."

The second one went out and bought new golf clubs, a CD player, a television and a stereo and gives them to the man. She says, "I bought
these gifts for you with the money because I love you so much."

The third one takes the $5000 and invests it in the stock market,doubles her investment, returns the $5000 to the man and reinvests the
rest. She says, "I am investing the rest of the money for our future because I love you so much."

The man thought long and hard about how each of the women spent the money. He finally decided to marry the one with the biggest t.i.t.s.
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Wish U ALL A HAPPY "FRIENDSHIP DAY" Aug 3, 2008 12:31 am
231 Views
Best friends you and me
that's how it's always gonna be

Like the sun sets up high
you're a friend that sticks close by

Like a shower of rain
your smile refreshes again and again

Like a rainbow in the sky
your sweet presence lends a sigh

Been a blessing through the years
our past together brings many cheers
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Are Computers Male or Female? Jul 30, 2008 9:08 am
242 Views
As you are aware, ships have long been characterized as being female (e.g., "Steady as she goes" or "She's listing to starboard, Captain!")

Recently, a group of computer scientists (all males) announced that computers should also be referred to as being female. Their reasons for drawing this conclusion follow:

Five reasons to believe computers are female:

1. No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

3. The message "Bad command or file name" is about as informative as, "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you."

4. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.

5. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

However, another group of computer scientists, (all female) think that computers should be referred to as if they were male. Their reasons follow:
Five reasons to believe computers are male:

1. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.

2. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.

3. As soon as you commit to one you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have obtained a better model.

4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.

5. Big power surges knock them out for the rest of the night.
1 comment
How to say I Love You in 100 Languages Jul 26, 2008 5:44 am
240 Views
How to say I Love You in 100 Languages

English - I love you
Afrikaans - Ek het jou lief
Albanian - Te dua
Arabic - Ana behibak (to male)
Arabic - Ana behibek (to female)
Armenian - Yes kez sirumem
Bambara - M'bi fe
Bengali - Ami tomake bhalobashi (pronounced: Amee toe-ma-kee bhalo-bashee)
Belarusian - Ya tabe kahayu
Bisaya - Nahigugma ako kanimo
Bulgarian - Obicham te
Cambodian - Soro lahn nhee ah
Catalan - T'estimo
Cherokee - Tsi ge yu i
Cheyenne - Ne mohotatse
Chichewa - Ndimakukonda
Chinese
Cantonese - Ngo oiy ney a
Mandarin - Wo ai ni
Comanche - U kamakutu nu
(pronounced oo----ka-ma-koo-too-----nu) -- Thx Tony
Corsican - Ti tengu caru (to male)
Cree - Kisakihitin
Creol - Mi aime jou
Croatian - Volim te
Czech - Miluji te
Danish - Jeg Elsker Dig
Dutch - Ik hou van jou
Elvish - Amin mela lle (from The Lord of The Rings, by J.R.R. Tolkien)
Esperanto - Mi amas vin
Estonian - Ma armastan sind
Ethiopian - Afgreki'
Faroese - Eg elski teg
Farsi - Doset daram
Filipino - Mahal kita
Finnish - Mina rakastan sinua
French - Je t'aime, Je t'adore
Frisian - Ik hald fan dy
Gaelic - Ta gra agam ort
Georgian - Mikvarhar
German - Ich liebe dich
Greek - S'agapo
Gujarati - Hoo thunay prem karoo choo
Hiligaynon - Palangga ko ikaw
Hawaiian - Aloha Au Ia`oe
Hebrew
To female - "ani ohev otach" (said by male) "ohevet Otach" (said by female)
To male - "ani ohev otcha" (said by male) "Ohevet ot'cha" (said by female)
Hiligaynon - Guina higugma ko ikaw
Hindi - Hum Tumhe Pyar Karte hae
Hmong - Kuv hlub koj
Hopi - Nu' umi unangwa'ta
Hungarian - Szeretlek
Icelandic - Eg elska tig
Ilonggo - Palangga ko ikaw
Indonesian - Saya cinta padamu
Inuit - Negligevapse
Irish - Taim i' ngra leat
Italian - Ti amo
Japanese - Aishiteru or Anata ga daisuki desu
Kannada - Naanu ninna preetisuttene
Kapampangan - Kaluguran daka
Kiswahili - Nakupenda
Konkani - Tu magel moga cho
Korean - Sarang Heyo or Nanun tangshinul sarang hamnida
Latin - Te amo
Latvian - Es tevi miilu
Lebanese - Bahibak
Lithuanian - Tave myliu
Luxembourgeois - Ech hun dech gaer
Macedonian - Te Sakam
Malay - Saya cintakan mu / Aku cinta padamu
Malayalam - Njan Ninne Premikunnu
Maltese - Inhobbok
Marathi - Me tula prem karto
Mohawk - Kanbhik
Moroccan - Ana moajaba bik
Nahuatl - Ni mits neki
Navaho - Ayor anosh'ni
Ndebele - Niyakutanda
Norwegian
Bokmaal - Jeg elsker deg
Nyonrsk - Eg elskar deg
Pandacan - Syota na kita!!
Pangasinan - Inaru Taka
Papiamento - Mi ta stimabo
Persian - Doo-set daaram
Pig Latin - Iay ovlay ouyay
Polish - Kocham Ciebie
Portuguese - Eu te amo
Romanian - Te iubesc
Russian - Ya tebya liubliu
Scot Gaelic - Tha gra\dh agam ort
Serbian - Volim te
Setswana - Ke a go rata
Sign Language - ,\,,/ (represents position of fingers when signing 'I Love You')
Sindhi - Maa tokhe pyar kendo ahyan
Sioux - Techihhila
Slovak - Lu`bim ta
Slovenian - Ljubim te
Spanish - Te quiero / Te amo
Swahili - Ninapenda wewe
Swedish - Jag alskar dig
Swiss-German - Ich lieb Di
Surinam - Mi lobi joe
Tagalog - Mahal kita
Taiwanese - Wa ga ei li
Tahitian - Ua Here Vau Ia Oe
Tamil - Nan unnai kathalikaraen
Telugu - Nenu ninnu premistunnanu
Thai
To female - Phom rak khun
To male - Chan rak khun
Informal - Rak te
Tunisian - Ha eh bak
Turkish - Seni Seviyorum
Ukrainian - Ya tebe kahayu
Urdu - mai aap say pyaar karta hoo
Vietnamese
To female - Anh ye^u em
To male - Em ye^u anh
Welsh - 'Rwy'n dy garu di
Yiddish - Ikh hob dikh
Yoruba - Mo ni fe
Zazi - Ezhele hezdege
Zuni - Tom ho' ichema
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Please read!! ABOUT OUR LOVING PET. Jul 6, 2008 2:00 am
318 Views
My life is likely to last 10-15 years.
Any separation from you will be painful for me
Remember that BEFORE you get me.

2.Give me time to understand what you want from me.

3.Place your trust in me. It is crucial to my well-being.

4.Don't be angry with me for long, & don't lock me up as punishment.
You have your work, entertainment & friends. I have only YOU.

5.Talk to me sometimes. Even if I don't understand your words,
I understand your voice.

6.Be aware that however you treat me, I'll never forget.

7.Please don't hit me. I can't hit back,
but I can bite & scratch and I really don't want to do that.

8.Before you scold me for being uncooperative, obstinate, or lazy, ask yourself if something might be bothering me.
Perhaps I'm not getting the right foods or I've been out in the sun too long or my heart is getting old and weak.

9.Take care of me when I get old. You too will grow old one day.

10.Go with me on difficult journeys. NEVER say,
"I can't bear to watch, or let it happen in my absence."
Everything is easier for me if YOU are there.

Remember, I LOVE YOU!!
1 comment
Her emotional needs as a Woman. Jul 2, 2008 7:04 am
300 Views
Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up. But then the wife stops and says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." The husband says "WHAT??"

The wife explains that he must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a Woman.

The husband realizes that nothing is going to happen tonight and he might as well deal with it. So the next day the husband takes her shopping at a big dept. store.

He walks around and has her try on three very expensive outfits. And then tells his wife. We'll take all three of them. Then goes over and gets matching shoes worth $200 each. And then goes to the Jewelry Dept. and gets a set of diamond earrings. The wife is so excited (she thinks her husband has flipped out, but she does not care). She goes for the tennis bracelet. The husband says "but you don't even play tennis, but OK if you like it then lets get it." The wife is jumping up and down so excited she cannot even believe what is going on. She says "I am ready to go, lets go to the cash register."

The husband says," no - no - no, honey we're not going to buy all this stuff."

The wife's face goes blank.

"No honey - I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while."

Her face gets really red and she is about to explode and then the husband says,

"You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a MAN!!!!
0 Comments
Husband Quotes!! Just for Laugh Jun 24, 2008 8:51 am
329 Views
1. I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.

2. Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

3. The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!"

4. In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then,
neither God nor man has rested.

5. Why do men die before their wives? They want to.

6. What is the difference between a dog and a fox? About 5 drinks.

7. A beggar walked up to a well dressed woman shopping on Grafton Street and said "I haven't eaten anything in four days." She looked at him and said, "God, I wish I had your willpower."

8. Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two mothers-in-law.

9. Young Son: "Is it true, Dad? I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her." Dad: "That happens in every country, son!"

10. A man inserted an ad in the classifieds: WIFE WANTED. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: YOU CAN HAVE MINE.

11. The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

12. First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

13. How do most men define marriage? An expensive way to get laundry done for free.

14. Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

15. If you want your wife to listen and pay undivided attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

16. Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late."

17. A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying!"

18. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was "Always."
0 Comments
14 Reasons to Drink at Work Jun 24, 2008 8:39 am
332 Views
Reasons why you should be allowed to get drunk at work:

1.It's an incentive to show up.

2.It reduces stress

3.It leads to more honest communications.

4.It reduces complaints about low pay.

5.It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover.

6.Employees tell management what they think, not
what management wants to hear.

7.It helps save on heating costs in the winter.

8.It encourages carpooling.

9.Increases job satisfaction because if you have a bad job you don't care.

10.It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.

11.It makes fellow employees look better.

12.It makes the cafeteria food taste better.

13.Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they have had a couple of drinks.

14. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.
0 Comments
How to Speak About Women and Be Politically Correct. (JUST FOR LAUGH) Jun 18, 2008 9:07 am
353 Views
1. She is not a Babe or a Chick - She is a Breasted American.

2. She is not a Screamer or Moaner - She is Vocally Appreciative.

3. She is not Easy - She is Horizontally Accessible.

4. She does not Tease or Flirt - She engages in Artificial Stimulation.

5. She is not Dumb - She is a Detour Off The Information Superhighway.

6. She has not Been Around - She is a Previously Enjoyed Companion.

7. She does not Get You Excited - She causes Temporary Blood Displacement.

8. She is not Kinky - She is a Creative Caretaker.

9. She does not have a Killer Body - She is Terminally Attactive.

10. She is not an Airhead - She is Reality Impaired.

11. She does not get Drunk or Tipsy - She gets Chemically Inconvenienced.

12. She does not have Breast Implants - She is Medically Enhanced.

13. She does not Nag You - She becomes Verbally Repetitive.
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Are Computers Male or Female?MARIA19813Aug 2 1:51 am
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